Of Hallucinations and Unexpected Hugging
by ThatBigBlueBox
Summary: Twelve years since the Time War, twelve years since she had last seen the Doctor. But when someone unexpected makes a visit to see the President, she will be reunited with the man she traveled with once more. Only this time, it's her who's healing him. Sometimes you don't have to be the Doctor to be a doctor.


**AN- Hello again! This is the third installment in my unexpected series of Romana shorts, in which the noblest of them all meets different incarnations of the Doctor! This time, it's an angsty one with Nine, and a surprise appearance with the Bad Wolf. Hope you enjoy, and leave a review if you like! :)**

"Madame President? There's someone to see you."

Romanadvoratrelundar glanced up from the book she had been reading (it was an old Earth favorite introduced to her by the Doctor in their early days, _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ ), and she offered a soft smile to her aide.

"Tell them I'll be right with them, and thank them for stopping by. Alright, Alexi?" she responded, closing a small piece of paper with the words ' _Justice, Kindness, Equality'_ etched on it in Gallifreyan into her book. She rose to her feet, brushing off her Prydonian scarlet and orange robes to straighten them out, and she headed to the doors that Alexidvorandon had left cracked open, brushing her fingers on the handle as she paused, reminiscing.

Twelve years had passed since Gallifrey's salvation, and the burnt orange planet of the Time Lords was thriving.

Alternatively, ten years had gone by since Romanadvoratrelundar had been restored to the presidency. A vote was held, and the people came out in overwhelming support for the Time Lady. Since then, she had worked hard to help her people heal, and after the chaotic presidency (dictatorship, she added as an afterthought) of Rassilon, she made sure that her administration was honest and open, and she answered most questions that were not a matter of planetary security directly to the people. It was a policy of openness- _glasnost_ , she recalled it was called on Earth- and she was intent to make sure it remained that way. It was her responsibility to ensure for her people that they would never have to experience another war like the Last Great Time War ever again.

Though, it _was_ sort of difficult to wage brutal and merciless war when one was stranded in a pocket universe all on one's lonesome.

"Madame President?" Alexi called out hesitantly, but Romana stepped out of her quarters and into the crosshall then, her lips curving up slightly at her aid.

"I'm here, Alexi," she replied, stepping forward to grip Alexi's hand, shaking it warmly in the practice she had established when she had first risen to power. It had been widely criticized as something too primitive at first, what with the physical contact and all, but it had quickly caught on. Romana encouraged her fellow Gallifreyans to be more engaged with each other, and that began with a handshake. It would, Romana reckoned, slowly dissolve the coldness and apathy of her people. "You may be dismissed."

"But Madame, I really don't think-"

"Relax, Alexi," Romana cut off the other woman's stressing. "I am very much capable of defending myself if our visitor decides to dismiss our hospitality. Now please, I implore you, go out for once. You worry far too much." Another smile slipped onto her face. "Time Ladies our age ought to get out more."

"You never go out."

"Well, you had to just bring that bit up, didn't you," the woman chuckled quietly, though both of them knew quite well that leisure time was scarce for the president. "I'm serious. Go on, have a bit of fun for once in your life."

"Oh, alright," the woman relented, rolling her eyes briefly. She was probably the only Gallifreyan who would dare do something so brash in front of anyone in authority, but she knew that Romana wasn't like Rassilon, or any of the other dictators in guise of presidents that came before that utter mess. Romana had built her regime on kindness. "Be safe, alright?"

The president grinned, tossing her long, black hair back behind her. She had let it grow out since the war, and she found she very much liked the style that reminded her so much of her first regeneration. Of happier days.

"Oh, when am I ever, dear?"

Alexi left after another parting handshake, and Romana stepped into the next room where all of those meeting with the president waited. It was a humbly furnished room very much inspired by Earth's waiting rooms, for Romana understood now what the Doctor saw in the little Level Five water planet.

Sitting in one of the chairs was a blonde woman with tattered clothes, and the first thing Romana noticed was that those clothes were incredibly out of date. Most young Time Ladies nowadays kept up with the current style (unless they were in Academy, of course, but the woman's clothes were of no House or Chapter Romana recognized), and she noted with mild nausea that they were the style of clothing most often worn in Gallifrey's war period.

She sat down across from the woman, who was reading one of the magazines from the side tables. To Romana's surprise, it was in Earth English and not Gallifreyan.

"Hello," she said plainly in Gallifreyan, and the woman barely looked up from her magazine. "Do you know who I am?"

"You're Romanadvoratrelundar," the woman said, in English. Romana began to wonder if she was also a fan of the legendary Time Lord (oh, every time she remembered he was a legend, she pondered not quite spitefully, but not quite _not-_ if _everyone_ who left Gallifrey was a legend) known as the Doctor. "Prydonian House, Heartshaven Chapter. President of Gallifrey. Aliases include Ice Queen, Romana, Fred…"

Romana sniffed at that, wondering at first if the woman before her was some sort of intelligence agent, then wondering if whoever designed her had a bit of a streak of being precocious.

"Oh, no one designed me, my dear," the woman replied to that thought, making Romana draw back in mild surprise. "I create myself. I do, however, have the form of a human known as- oh, what was it? I always forget those funny little things. Rose- Rose Tyler."

So that explained the Earth English, then.

"Unwanted telepathy is quite rude, you know," Romana tried not to snap, and failed miserably. "Have you come from the Time War? You know we can't do anything for you. We cannot change a line of the past."

"Oh, I'm not asking you to change the past, Madame President," the form of the human known as Rose Tyler replied, as though it was to be the most obvious thing in the world. "To answer your first inquiry, I'm from everywhere. All that is, was, will be. That includes the Last Great Time War, but again, I understand temporal theory better than you do."

Romana felt a pang of irritation at this, those old airs and graces of having to be the best from Academy rising up before she squashed it.

"No, I'm asking you to help a friend," the entity remarked with a slight frown. "My Doctor, I want him safe. Even if that means safe from himself."

Before Romana could stop her, the entity opened a Time Window that showed a leather jacketed, big eared man lying unconscious on the floor of a TARDIS on fire. Romana immediately recognized him as the Doctor.

"What's happened to him?" the president asked the entity with caution and mild suspicion.

"At this moment in time, he believes he has ended the Time War," the blonde woman spoke softly. "He believes that he has burned all the Daleks, all the Time Lords, all 2.74 billion children and everyone else along with it. He believes that he is the last of his kind, and he is not going to want to survive alone."

"So you want me to-" Romana breathed, her hearts stoppered with anxiety for her friend. "You want me to-"

"To go to him," the entity responded, her whiskey-brown eyes sad. "Hold him, and make sure he doesn't do anything reckless."

"He is one for that," Romana quipped, though her eyes were heavy.

"You and I both know it, don't we?" the entity said, and though Romana didn't quite know how the other would know it, she was far too lost in thought to ask. "Are you ready? I'll bring you right back here when you're ready."

"Yes, I-" Romana stumbled over her words for once in her life. "I am. Take me to him."

She knew for a fact she was acting on pure emotion instead of thinking things through, but she didn't care. At that moment, somewhere, there was the Doctor, and he was in pain. And besides, she tried to tell herself, she couldn't let him go and off himself when he was in an earlier form. She had met the Twelfth one, and the one she saw in the Time Window was clearly younger than Twelve. It would become a paradox if he died now, and she knew for a fact how damaged the universe was outside Gallifrey's little bubble. It couldn't take another paradox.

"Alright," the entity said with a small, relieved smile. She opened the Time Window wide enough so that Romana could easily step through. "I'll open it when you call out to me. Think 'Bad Wolf,' and I'll be there."

The president rose to her feet, not looking at the woman, but staring straight into the abyss.

"Will it hurt?" she asked quietly, the sight of the Vortex nearly making her draw back, shivering, as she recalled the terror of her childhood.

"Yes." The Bad Wolf's voice was emotionless.

"Good." Romana had no idea she was echoing the Other's words from so long ago, but she knew she would never feel what this new Doctor felt. Traveling through the Vortex without a capsule would only be a small portion of that. Without saying anything further, she stepped through into the Time Window.

Romana felt the effects of traveling the Vortex without a capsule immediately. She grimaced- though no one would have seen it-, and she groaned in pain- though no one would have heard it. It felt as though every cell in her body was moving at different times, stretched to oblivion. Eventually, though, she felt her cells coming back together again, and she let out a sharp breath as the pain faded away.

The TARDIS around her was unfamiliar. In more ways than one.

The first thing Romana noticed was the new desktop theme, but the new coral was the least of her worries, because the second and most worrying thing she saw was the destruction around her.

The console was sparking, smoke billowing out from the Time Rotor. One of the big coral struts had fallen through the grating and into the machinery below, and a small but contained fire flickered there.

Romana's hearts broke for the organic machine. But it was then that she heard a low groan from across the utterly destroyed console room, and it was then that she saw what she had been fearing ever since she had embarked upon this mission.

Lying there on the hard, grating floor, curled into the fetal position, and gripping his temples with his sharp fingernails digging into his skull was the Doctor.

Romanadvoratrelundar, despite what she had seen during the war, despite the high position and responsibility of her office, was immobilized by nausea. Never had she ever seen her friend in such a pitiful state. The Doctor, though he had often irritated her to no end in her younger days, had always been a constant force of optimism in her life, his (mostly) lighthearted adventures making him appear invincible.

Now, he seemed anything but.

She stood there, stock still, for a few moments until her initial shock at his form subsided. Eventually, though, she managed to snap out of her stupor, closing her mouth _before she caught flies_ , his Fourth form nagged in her ear. She hurried over to crouch over the grief-stricken man, tears managing to leak out of his squeezed-shut eyes. Knowing that any touch to the head would only amplify his mental pain in such a vulnerable telepathic state, she carefully removed his hands from his head, where deep red marks were left from his nails. His icy blue, bloodshot eyes shot open, and she had to resist flinching back in mild fear.

"They're- _they're all gone."_

The sheer desperation of his words shattered her world. She wanted nothing more than to tell him that _no, they were all all right, they were just tucked away, you didn't burn us, we're all alive-_

But she knew she couldn't. His Twelfth self had made it abundantly clear that before the end of his Eleventh incarnation, he had no knowledge about what had really happened. He didn't even know she was there to help him.

She had to lie to him. And that broke her hearts.

"Doctor," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "Doctor, I know it hurts, but you need to wake up. You need to live."

The Time Lord who believed he was the last of searched her face, clear confusion evident in his scrunched up eyebrows.

"You're…" he muttered, his eyes darting around frantically, scouring her expression for any sign of artifice. "You're not… real."

"And why do you think that?" Romana asked quietly in monotone, being sure to not give anything away in her expression.

"You… you can't be real," the Time Lord stammered, his muddled mind hurdling from one train of thought to another, making it extremely difficult to focus. "I killed… I killed you. Everyone. Dead. Everyone's dead. You…" His voice cracked, and his breath grew short. "You're dead. My Romana. You're…"

His face grew pale, then green, and the Time Lady knew what was coming next. Sending a silent apology to his TARDIS, she rolled him over onto his side, and he vomited pure bile into the grating. He hadn't eaten anything this regeneration.

"You're right," she whispered after he had finished, and she apologized again to the TARDIS, whose lights flickered in mild disgust at the stomach contents, but Romana could tell her main tone was one of concern for her Thief. "You're right, I'm not real. I'm just in your head."

The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut, as if hoping she might disappear if he blinked for long enough. When he opened his eyes and she was still there, the Time Lord glared at the ceiling of his TARDIS, as though she were to blame for Romana's being here.

"Why are you doing this?" he bit at the ceiling, his mouth still foul from the bile. "I don't- I don't want to see her." Romana drew back slightly at that, though she didn't openly show her hurt at his words. "I don't deserve- I killed- I killed her. She's dead. My fault. My fault."

"Doctor," Romana whispered, her green eyes glassy with grief seeing him like this.

"Don't call me that-"

" _Doctor,_ " she stressed. "Look at me."

He listened to her command, taken aback by the sternness in her voice. She never used that tone with him. Icy blue met sharp, pale green.

"Now, listen," she said, her voice trembling slightly. "I don't know what you think you're doing, but you look awful." At his dumbstruck expression, she continued. "You look like you haven't eaten anything all this regeneration, and you look like you haven't slept at all, either."

"I won't call you Romana," he snapped, and Romana held back a huff of frustration at him.

"Fred it is, then."

He stared at her with terrified eyes, quite obviously bewildered that this apparent apparition of her knew so much about their time together.

"Fred," he choked, the sound of that name on his lips painful in itself. "I don't deserve either of those things. I'm a murderer- I've killed-"

"So have I," Romana interrupted him. "Everyone did awful things during the war, and you didn't see them moaning about it-"

"I _burned_ our race, Fred!" His voice was pure and unadulterated self-loathing and bitterness. "I burned Gallifrey, and I ran away listening to their screams as I regenerated! I killed 2.47 _billion_ , all just children, and innumerable others! I don't _deserve_ to live!"

"Hm," Romana replied, deciding to try a different tactic. "Then as Lady President of Gallifrey-"

"You weren't by the end of the war. And besides, hallucinations can't be presidents."

"As Lady President of Gallifrey," Romana repeated, ignoring his interjection, "I order you to pay for what you have done. And as your penalty, you must live. You must be a Doctor again. The Doctor."

The Time Lord who had once called himself the Doctor was silenced by her words. How could she say that? How could he possibly live with himself after what he had done?

"Romana." His whisper of her name was laced with agony. "I've killed them all. How can I live with that?"

Romana said nothing in reply, but she leaned over and hugged him tightly, forgetting Time Lord societal standards that normally abhorred touch. But the Doctor was not a normal Time Lord, and this was not a normal situation.

He was surprised by the hug at first- Romana always had been a proper Time Lady- and this was also an apparition, so how could she be doing this?- but he leaned into the hug after a few stiff seconds. An excruciating sob ripped from his throat, and she hugged him tighter, and for the first time in her life, Romana finally understood why humans enjoyed intimacy so much.

She didn't know how long they sat there, she holding him, rocking him back and forth, he crying, sometimes softer, sometimes louder, but eventually, she managed to disentangle herself from him. He sat up, looking at her, awestruck, remembering that she was supposed to have been a mere vision.

"Romana-"

"That's Fred to you. Doctor." Her smile was forced. She knew she had to leave soon, but it killed her to leave him on his own like this. "I wasn't joking earlier. I need you to live."

"But how do I live without you?"

Romana scoffed, shaking her head. He always had relied more on emotion than logic, hadn't he?

"You'll do perfectly fine without me," she replied matter of factly. "You got on perfectly well both before and after I traveled with you."

"I always thought of you. After." The floor suddenly became very interesting to Romana as she listened to his words. "I missed you. Adric… Adric missed you."

Romana sighed; she had long since heard of the poor boy's fate.

"Just remember me, Doctor. Remember me, and live. That's all I ask. Somewhere, out in the universe, there's someone who needs your help. Especially without the Time Lords in this universe. Someone needs to keep the balance of things. You're the only one who knows how anymore."

"...why did you say 'in this universe?'"

His voice was quiet, confused. The Time Lords only existed in the prime universe. That was their only version. There were no alternate Gallifreys, no parallel Time Lords. And the Time Lords in the prime universe were gone.

Romana realized her slip immediately, and mentally cursed rather colorfully in Gallifreyan. She shook her head.

"It doesn't matter. What does matter, now, is that you sleep. When you wake up, it will be a new start, and I've been told there are some Autons in London. Earth, 2005 that need to be stopped."

He hadn't even noticed her hand was on his forehead until he was feeling the effects of her telepathy. In the moment before he fell asleep, he knew. She wasn't just a hallucination.

But before he could say anything about it, the force of her telepathy kicked in, and he was fast asleep. She took his memories of their conversation, leaving only her message: _live. Live, and be the Doctor again._

Tears were in Romana's eyes as she placed a soft kiss on the sleeping Time Lord's forehead, sending as many positive emotions through the touch telepathic link as she could without waking him up. Then, standing up with tears blurring her vision, she reached out to the Bad Wolf. She was ready to go home. She had done all she could.

She blinked, and she was standing back in the waiting room. But when she looked out the window, it was dark. Time lapses, she thought with a watery grimace. She hoped she didn't miss out on too much.

The door slammed open, and Romana heard giggling and goodbyes. She could smell the hypervodka from a mile away.

"Madame… Romana!"

Romana smiled weakly; Alexi always did like to make an entrance. Just usually not around her.

"I'm here, Alexi," she replied. "Have a good night out?"

"It was… it was _so_ much fun!" the young aide slurred, stumbling into the waiting room. "I need to do that more- _you_ should come, next time!"

"I'll keep that in mind," Romana said, amused. But it was then that the drunk girl saw the tears in the president's eyes, and she reached out in an attempt to wipe them away.

"Oh- what's wrong? You're crying. You never cry."

"It's nothing, really. You just go get some sleep, alright?"

Alexi looked disconcerted, but she nodded anyways. She mumbled a quick goodnight, and started down the hallway. Romana watched her go, finishing her thought quietly so that only she would hear.

"Just some old ghosts, popping back up to say hello."


End file.
